Good morning everyone! It is a beautiful, albeit VERY COLD, day today. But it is a gift and a blessing to be alive, and so I rejoice that God has given me another day to do the things I love and to serve Him.
I have been having a good start to the new year. There have been lots of exciting things happening, and it is great! One thing that has been a part of my new year is owning a home! I officially am a homeowner! That's a little scary, but it is very exciting! Right now, we are in the process of painting and I am hoping to move in tomorrow. I don't have much stuff, so that's really nice! I have a feeling it will be interesting living in my own home. But I'm very happy about the home and am looking forward to starting family life there in a little less than six months!
Onto what I want to share with you all today (and challenge you with too!). Over the past week or so, I have been reading Psalm 51 daily. It has been a wonderful psalm and it challenges my heart reading it every time. David, the author of the psalm, is in a very broken spot, and his words of confession and remorse strike a fatal blow to anyone who has struggled with sin (which, in case you didn't know, is all of us. No one is getting out of this one.).
The words of this psalm are very evocative of how greatly David had fallen, and how he realized it. He knew what he had done wrong - he had actually committed three very blatant and despicable sins (adultery, murder, and coveting). He knew that before God, he was as guilty as they come. The funny thing about this now, as I have been reminiscing, is that at this point, many other people who have looked at a woman lustfully or hated their brother would not have considered themselves committing these despicable sins. Yet Jesus says otherwise. That makes me guilty. However, David actually committed these sins. And he knew the only one he had to answer to was God.
This is where David's confession stems from.
As I have been reading this psalm, there has been one part of the Scripture that really broadened my thinking and the way I come to God when I repent. In verse 12, David declares, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit."
There are two things that I really like about what David says. He says, in essence, "Give me, once again, the joy I had in you before. Help me to revel in your salvation of my soul. I need you to bring me back and help me know I'm forgiven by you." When we confess, do we ask God to do the same for us? I know, that while this is what I'm intending, it is not what I am asking of God. When we confess, we must want unbridled union with Christ again. Our hearts must be set on savoring the divine glory of our Savior. If this is not what we are after, then why do we confess? Is it just to have a clean slate so we can live a lifestyle of sin again? If that's the case, do you really even know our Savior? Are you really living in a right relationship with Him? I would say you are not.
This first part is a challenge to us. We need to look at our motivation for going to God and seeking Him to forgive us. It should be to draw nearer to Him and to become more like Him. As I write this, I write to myself as well. I need to be more like Jesus than anything else in my life. We all do.
Now, the second part carries off of what I wrote just a moment ago. David asks God to give him a willing spirit that wants God more and more. This spirit is one of complete surrender and obedience to God so that the sins he has committed will not reoccur. These are powerful words from this man who has been rocked by his infidelity. As I read these words, I, too, am stirred to the core of how I don't desire this in my confessions.
I have found myself asking the question, "When I confess, do I plan on committing the same sin again?" Do I think that God can uphold me from this sin in my life from happening again and again? Though I have not thought about this in depth before, I live like this. And each time I confess the same sin pattern over and over again to God, I look back and know I haven't wanted a willing spirit to stop this and walk accordingly in obedience to God.
I have doubts in what I believe God can do in my life. I have limitations on Him. I confess before you all how flawed my thinking of our great God is. I fail. But David didn't think this way. He believed God could grant him that sustaining spirit. He trusted God to carry him past and on toward His glory. That's what I want. That's where I am. And as I seek the God of my hope and salvation, I look at these verses and say with all I am, "Yes, Lord, I want you to remind me again of your salvation and uphold me with a spirit that honors you alone." Our God is worthy. Our God is great. Our God can do anything!
Where will you let Him work in you? Will you ask Him to sustain you with a willing spirit of obedience? I implore you to do so. Ask Him to reveal Himself in this way. I'm finding Him to be faithful. David (and countless others) did so too. Our God is good. He will not fail you.
Gracious Lord, you are worthy. You are holy. You have given us your beloved Son, Jesus, and He is more than enough. Lord, forgive me when I limit you. Forgive me when I seek to satisfy myself through my so - called appeasement that I think happens when I come to you. Forgive me for abusing the grace you have abundantly provided. God, I want you to uphold me with a willing spirit. I want to be endlessly devoted to you an to serve you in radical obedience. Guide me there Lord. Implant your Holy Spirit more deeply into my heart that I may walk in closeness to you alone. Transform me more into the likeness of your faithful Son. It's Him whom I love. It's Him whom I trust. It's in His name I pray all this. Amen.
Love you all.
Brandon
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