“You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat…Surely this is our God; we trusted in him, and he saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.” – Isaiah 25:4, 9
I write to you all this afternoon from a heart that has needed the Lord and who has found hope in Him. He has been a source of life and delight to me and I’m sorry for not sharing my praise with you over the past few months.
Today, I read these verses about God and my heart was filled with immense joy at what He has done in my life. I can’t say that the past few months have been easy, but through it all, I have found a great hope. I’ve seen how helpless I am and how the storms of life continue to rage on.
“The storms of life” you say. Yeah, they are furious. Even I know the power of them.
My storms have been focused on the sin in my life and the man that I am not. It’s not easy to confess that I am such a broken person sometimes (okay, a lot of the time). I desperately need grace, but often don’t seek after its work in my life. I know the gift, yet I don’t receive it. And my soul is embittered. It’s broken and it’s wounded. All of this by my own accord.
Sometimes I just want to scream at how much it hurts. I want a “silver bullet” to end the sin in my life. I am broken and lost and driven to the point of despair. Oh, what a frail creature I truly am. What a mess I have made of myself.
I love the words of the Switchfoot song, “Mess of Me":
I am my own affliction/I am my own disease…I’ve made a mess of me/I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
It defines me. I am a man of sorrow and shame. This, my friends is what we call in theological terms, depravity. In our own hands, in our own strength, in our own efforts, we make messes.
I’m afraid I’ve been making messes. I’ve wanted what is not mine or what God has designed for me. I have wanted my own designed faith and life. And it frustrates me. My own sin, which gets me into my own messes, frustrates me to the point of humility. God, there is evil in my heart! Does anyone else feel the depth of how human we are?!? Gosh, we are empty, pathetic things. How destructive and abominable we are.
This frustration, as you can tell, is what my hearts battles. Hard is an understatement for what I’ve contemplated.
And in this all, I have kept to God’s word. And how good He is to show me Himself just at the point when I’d be sick of myself. It’s here that I’ve found Him. In me, I’ve come to the place of extreme need. And He is a refuge. He is a place of safe – keeping. He is not punishing me for getting caught up in my sin and myself. He is not abandoning me to the cold recesses of hell. No, He is beckoning me to come and find shelter in Him. He is calling me to take shade and He will be deliverer.
So, that’s it? I just have to come and He takes care of it?
That’s what He promises.
“But, it’s so simple. That can’t be right!”
But it is.
In my frustration, even before it began, God sent His Son Jesus to live perfectly, to die perfectly, and to rise perfectly. He saves us, not by any good in us, but because He chooses to. He still chooses to. My frustration, my folly, my neediness is nothing compared to how great of a sacrifice He made. That’s a true peace that is beyond understanding.
I’ve trusted in Jesus with my life. I’m still trusting Jesus with my life. He truly is a good God, no matter what my circumstances. I forget this, but He never does, and He waits for me.
I will rejoice and be glad in His salvation of me. I beg to celebrate in His salvation of you.
Today, I’m resting in His promise to be more than I can imagine and to be the place where I find constant comfort. Will join me in finding refuge in Him?
For His glory,
Brandon
